Do all mothers know the rhythm to the hearts of their children? A few months ago, I nagged my daughter with questions about her ex-boyfriend.
"Does he like his new school?"
"Is he still with his high school buddies?"
"Is he seeing anyone new?"
My daughter didn't elaborate on any of the questions. She moved her head from side to side, rolled her eyes, fiddled with her fingers and ignored me. She didn't realize that her body language gave me more answers than any words she could muster.
"No!" my husband cried out one evening as I shared with me some of my concerns, "she would never take him back for a third time."
One morning my daughter came to lie down in bed with me and again, I nagged her about her ex-boyfriend. She finally admitted that she missed him and that they had been talking for a few weeks; "seeing each other again."
"I knew it..." I giggled tickling her until she laughed out loud.
I suggested that she learn about "conflict resolution." I told her that just because things felt real to her it didn't mean it meant that she was called to "live an experience" maybe she was just invited to "learn a lesson or get some healing."
"You can't keep breaking up every time something goes wrong and then, go back when time has erased the conflict," I explained, "plus you both can't expect to keep the relationship new and fresh. Sooner or later, you'll have to mature and grow together and that might mean opening yourself up to more than butterflies..."
She nodded and agreed. She even replied: "I know I'm missing something because I'm not happy really!"
For weeks I had felt the rhythm of her heart beat. I knew that she was struggling with this relationship and even though I asked the questions, I needed to be patient for the answers.
The strange thing is I don't only hear the heart beat of my biological children but I also hear the heart beats of all those I secretly love and care for. Once I allow my thoughts to touch those I care about I pick up on their life stories and feel their struggles and victories.
For some it may sound a bit New Age or even romantic but the fact of the matter is it is real for me. And when I start nagging -- it's also real for those who have to find the answers!