Thursday, October 14, 2010


Some mornings, JP and I have breakfast while watching Pasquale’s Express Cooking. Most days I try to scroll through the tv programs in hope to catch something we’ve never watched before. Italian, Spanish, Chinese and English television often wins the draw. This morning though as I waited for Color Your World, a presentation on indoor decorating, I fell on a pregnancy show; which discussed post partum blues. After hearing the psychologist’s final words of wisdom I decided to close the television: It was definitely enough for the day! Perhaps JP noticed in the shake of my head that I was hiding some thoughts of my own on the topic because it was at that point she started asking lots of questions on the subject of pregnancy, children and shamanism.

It’s not that I don’t believe in post partum blues actually I happen to know that it’s a sad reality and it is more and more predominant in our population of young mothers. Yet, I wonder how much of this particular depression is due to physiology rather than attached to a lack of consciousness and balance within the whole process of metamorphosis that occurs with pregnancy. I guess what I’m trying to say is that as women we are no longer in touch with our moon cycle and we’re no longer prepared for the different facets of Goddess; which emerge through us. How many television shows have we watched in the last decade where we’ve seen new super heroes loose a grasp on reality because their world has suddenly changed and they have power as well as responsibility unlike any other human being? It’s not that big of stretch to make a connection between emerging super heroes and morphing into parenthood.

When I was a child I loved playing at imitating life. I remember spending at least a decade of my youth learning about motherhood through playing with dolls. I mimicked my mother for several years just by watching her take care of my younger brother and younger sister. I remember paying attention to details. My mom took the time to explain to me how important it was to properly hold a baby. She told me how delicate the neck was and showed me this soft spot on the tip of the head. I recall watching my brother sleep and observing how the soft spot inhaled and exhaled along with him. It was my grand-father who noticed how impressed I was with this phenomenon and told me a story about blue jays and how like infants they hold the wisdom of creation within their crest. He explained that the crest of a new born is soft because it holds the memories of the ancestors and these memories still breath along with the baby. I found this amazing. It was then that I began to like dolls that were soft all over.

I believe that we journey towards motherhood or fatherhood from the moment we are born. Maybe Westerners understand pregnancy as “having a baby”; but from a Sacred Circle point of view, pregnancy speaks of our own birth and our journey through all kinds of metamorphosis. When you ask young people how the feel about being 18 years old or 20 years old they all answer the same thing: They say that as far they are concerned they’ve always been the same and that time only allows them to go deeper. Yet, as we watch our children grow we clearly see them emerge from their basic selves into almost different people at each season and each moon. What is incredible is how much of the man is hidden in the infant and how much of the child still lingers in the adult. Isn’t that what we learn through the Medicine Wheel?
Life fits on a circle.

When my daughter was 3 years old she often talked of another life where she was a mother of 7 children. She would place her dolls against the wall from the tallest to the smallest and explain to my husband and I that 4 of them somehow fell sick to a fever and died. At first we were worried about the story line and then, we decided to let it run its course. KT wasn’t upset about the death of her babies; she just told a story; emotionally detached from it. KT couldn’t have imagined this tragedy. It just made sense that she remembered it. Eventually, KT said that she was OK with the death of her babies because they were reborn and like her they were fine now. Soon she was playing new games, some significant and some insignificant. With years of watching both my children moving in and out of ancestral memories I came to understand that they were growing up out of the past and into the NOW. They were resolving, integrating and developing into their own power. They were preparing themselves to carry the different realities of God/Goddess energy.

Change is difficult for most people and yet change is a crucial part of life. I always thought that if I prepared my children from birth to embody the God/Goddess energy it would be easier for them to move through the different facets of this energy. I thought it would be easier for them to be friends, to be lovers, to be mates, to be parents, to be teachers, to be medicine people and to be elders. Some people may think that it’s part of life to move through these different roles but according to the Sacred Circle tradition it’s not part of life; but part of the superhero within us.

In other words, if we want to be able to accept the changes that occur within us through the 60+ years we live on this Planet, we need to be ready. I’ve often asked myself the question are we more depressed, desperate, lonely and confused these days because of physiology or is it because we are less and less in tune with the fact that we are more than meets the eye?

“When I got pregnant,” I told JP this morning, “everything changed. My body changed, the way I felt, thought and perceived things changed. When I finally gave birth to my children, even more things changed…. It seemed like the road to becoming a parent was more about accepting change than anything else.” Ironically, it wasn’t about having a baby even though it was the goal at the time; it was about trusting myself, my spouse, and my children with the greatest mystery of all: Pro-Creation. Suddenly I was God/Goddess’ partner in the making of Life. Little did I know then that it implied walking the Red Road and seeing the world with a wider and sharper lens.

P.S. The image inspired me with gestation.


Anonymous said...

Lisa this blog is very sinchronic. A friend of mine just had a baby. She wanted to have a baby very badly for the last few years. Her husband wanted to wait a bit longer. In the end she pushed to get pregnant. All through the pregnancy she complained about all the changes. She said she hated being pregnant it was not what she expected. Now the baby is 2 weeks old and the complaining continunes. She said she has the baby blues.
The whole time I felt irritated with her- for pushing her way, for not being in gratitude and for choosing to not focusing on the mystery and beauty she is a part of.
This blog confirms what I was feeling. It is all about attitude.

ChristyDeer said...

I love the comparison of parenthood and super heroism. In every child's eyes their parents are superheroes. There to protect and take care, and teach.

A very big role to fill. I'm 28 and just starting to find that I might be ready...I find it so hard to wrap my head around the idea that my mother had both my brother and I before she was 20!

She was such an amazing woman, I thought as a child she could do anything but was totally unaware of the hardships she faced until I was an adult and looked back.

Thank You, This was beautiful!

Wapeyit Malsom said...

I can't say it enough: I LOVE YOUR COMMENTS especially when you share some of your stories and talk about where you're at in your journey...

Thank you for reading and giving some feedback.

louise said...

Reading you always bring back memories of my oun story.
I had 4 pregnancies, the first baby was bord dead, I always felt fantastic when I was pregnant even though I was nauseous for almost the whole time.
I think that my body loved the change, I could have been gregnant all the time and it was fine with me.
I felt empowered and proud to be pregnant, and dont know how that makes sense but that what I remwmber feeling.

Lulu said...

Christy i have to agree the comparison makes me smile.
I have said to Al...I am not Wonderwoman...He replies...Yes you are...
I, like Louise, loved being pregnant. I loved feeling life move around and grow within me. I never planned any of my pregnancies. I was busy having late nights partying and working my butt off. A year after my first son was born my grandmother on my dads side make such a good mother Leanne and we never thought you would....LOL about a back handed compliment...
Having children has made my life something more than it ever could have been without them. The whole experience has been amazing from carrying them to giving birth to living and growing with them.

What i find is that my kids are excellent guides for me too. The super hero can falter at times and the kids are always there to remind me of my power and the fun i can have with it too.

Thanks Lisa xxxx I love your words...

Anonymous said...

I loved my pregnancy too, Befor I was pregnant, I moved around all the time, was very much a wonderer. And when I speak of my journey as a mother, I realize it started befor I knew I was pregnant. I use to do drugs, and a few weeks befor I knew I was pregnant, I quit, my body did not want it anymore. I was able to find my home and settle, building a life I did not know I was capable of. Embracing motherhood, from within myself has opened up a whole knew world for me. I always say that my son saved me some how, by changing my life threw the blessing of his presence. I did have some blues, but soon realized it was more associated with my expectations of other people. It did not last very long. I find now that I am very comfortable with being a mother, and it has become a primary role, I go threw transformations all the time, but I also find it very difficult to welcome in other parts of myself with worry that it will interfere with the role of motherhood. Part of my journey of the last year, has been very much to do with this. Embracing the goddess within, as a whole, and not as seperate parts.
My favorite blogs to read are those where you speak of your journey as a mother, and the journey you have with your children

Boot'n said...

My husband just recently mentioned to me that he wanted to start preparing for parenthood. To him, this means stream-lining our lives, living more simply and doing whatever we want to do travel-wise before bringing another life into this world. He sees this as a several year long process of change.

I am a impatient person. If he says something I'm ready to jump in with both feet and worry about consequences later. Because of the medication I take, preparing for pregnancy means coming off my medications. So, I am thankful for my husband's long-term planning and unwillingness to rush into anything. He balances me in this way. If I'm going to be a mom one day, Patience is something I need to learn.

Thank you for this Blog


Michelle said...

I loved how preganancy allowed me to concentrate on another life inside my body. I was amazed at how my body was holding a life every twinge and kick and my dreams were very clear when I was pregnant. I knew my first was a boy as soon as the doctor told me I was expecting I new it was a boy I went home and decorated our apartment with blue streamers and Chris walked into the apartment and knew somthing was up I told him to guess and nine months later Tristan was there. Chris dreamt of us having a little girl he said her name was soon as I heard the name I loved it and then we had two more beautiful surprizes Brianna came to us at a time when I needed the break from work she was the pregancy that I really enjoyed but also learned that my body had limits she loved my syatic nerve and would I think jump on it and cause my leg to buckle so I could not walk lol and Elizabeth I treasured the pregancy I new it would be my last and I enjoyed every moment every stretch mark. I even was a little sad that I was done having babies. I am greatful to science because I had 4 c-sections and even though it was tough on my body I was willing to do it to have them. It has taught me to be thankful for this gift of life. I remember reading so many books on preganancy and one on gestation of animals and I read Elephants are preganant for 22 months I was pretty amazed with all the animals and their ability to hold life.

WampumBlueRaven said...

First off, I loved the that information your Grand-Father told about the baby crest hold the heads the ancestral memories.

This blog resonated with me on so many levels, the I first time I red it and I am still learning from it and the comments, by reading it again.

I can’t put it in words right now, but what I can say is that is the theme of motherhood – has played a key role in this wheel, although I am not a mother of a child, I guess the best way to explain it is that I am a “superhero in training”-so I will leave that there for now… and share with you a story, actually the day before this blog was publish I was at dancing class and my teacher gave us the news that there was a new being in the world, an other dance teacher gave birth in her kitchen.

But the way it happen is what moved me, she was eating and felt a pressure in her lower belly, so she called her mid-wife, who reassured her she was fine. Then as she was finishing up her breakfast this pressure persisting so she went to the washroom and then came back out in the kitchen to ask her partner- to have a look because something didn’t feel normal.

Her partner takes a looks, not sure what he is looking for, then he see that the baby head is coming out… so he immediately calls the mid-wife and the doctor, one of each cellphones on each ear, simultaneously helping and guiding her to deliver the baby, meanwhile she is standing up, holding the baby head, pushing to help the baby along and finally the baby fully landed in her arms on the kitchen floor. Within 45 minutes the baby was born and she was breastfeeding when her mother showed up, as well including the mid-wife and doctor & medics. (for the other details I will leave out..)

This primary connection with your body or bodies (because I am not just speaking physically) is what I have been exploring for years, and something I am working in particular- it feels like it coming to an end- that whatever I am working on now will allow me to “become a master with my children” and will serve not only them but the world around me.

PS: My Goddess is turning out to have a Dog’s head, she looks like an Egyptian Goddess

Anonymous said...

I remember the exact moment i was ready to become a mother.
I was laying in the bathtub, crying because i was ready to move to the next level. I had visions of baby girl, i even knew her name.
One night, my mom and i were under a blanket of stars- it was a meateor shower. We shared our journeys with eachother, and we giggled when we thought of how i wanted a baby, and how she would change our world.

That night i lit a candle and asked for my daughter, it did not take long before the universe answered me.
Now, shes learning how to spell her name, and in kindergarten.

I had an eptopic pregnancy 6 months after she was born and baby had to get taken from me, i was close to death.

They said it would take longer to concieve another.

I believe, it was planned. In my family there is ALWAYS 2 girls then a boy. I believe my little baby, sacrificed herself so that her mama could carry a baby boy.
And i did. 1 year later, i was carrying my dream come true, a boy.
Hes my little miracle!
I named my littlest girl, toby.

I do wonder if my little toby, is my boy BRODY.

Brody is turning 3, and im in my moon of drama.

So cool so see this post, gives me lots to think about!


Wapeyit Malsom said...

WOW! Full Moon of Reason tonight.
It feels like a Moonlodge in here.
Great stories ladies.