Some mornings, JP and I have breakfast while watching Pasquale’s Express Cooking. Most days I try to scroll through the tv programs in hope to catch something we’ve never watched before. Italian, Spanish, Chinese and English television often wins the draw. This morning though as I waited for Color Your World, a presentation on indoor decorating, I fell on a pregnancy show; which discussed post partum blues. After hearing the psychologist’s final words of wisdom I decided to close the television: It was definitely enough for the day! Perhaps JP noticed in the shake of my head that I was hiding some thoughts of my own on the topic because it was at that point she started asking lots of questions on the subject of pregnancy, children and shamanism.
It’s not that I don’t believe in post partum blues actually I happen to know that it’s a sad reality and it is more and more predominant in our population of young mothers. Yet, I wonder how much of this particular depression is due to physiology rather than attached to a lack of consciousness and balance within the whole process of metamorphosis that occurs with pregnancy. I guess what I’m trying to say is that as women we are no longer in touch with our moon cycle and we’re no longer prepared for the different facets of Goddess; which emerge through us. How many television shows have we watched in the last decade where we’ve seen new super heroes loose a grasp on reality because their world has suddenly changed and they have power as well as responsibility unlike any other human being? It’s not that big of stretch to make a connection between emerging super heroes and morphing into parenthood.
When I was a child I loved playing at imitating life. I remember spending at least a decade of my youth learning about motherhood through playing with dolls. I mimicked my mother for several years just by watching her take care of my younger brother and younger sister. I remember paying attention to details. My mom took the time to explain to me how important it was to properly hold a baby. She told me how delicate the neck was and showed me this soft spot on the tip of the head. I recall watching my brother sleep and observing how the soft spot inhaled and exhaled along with him. It was my grand-father who noticed how impressed I was with this phenomenon and told me a story about blue jays and how like infants they hold the wisdom of creation within their crest. He explained that the crest of a new born is soft because it holds the memories of the ancestors and these memories still breath along with the baby. I found this amazing. It was then that I began to like dolls that were soft all over.
I believe that we journey towards motherhood or fatherhood from the moment we are born. Maybe Westerners understand pregnancy as “having a baby”; but from a Sacred Circle point of view, pregnancy speaks of our own birth and our journey through all kinds of metamorphosis. When you ask young people how the feel about being 18 years old or 20 years old they all answer the same thing: They say that as far they are concerned they’ve always been the same and that time only allows them to go deeper. Yet, as we watch our children grow we clearly see them emerge from their basic selves into almost different people at each season and each moon. What is incredible is how much of the man is hidden in the infant and how much of the child still lingers in the adult. Isn’t that what we learn through the Medicine Wheel?
Life fits on a circle.
When my daughter was 3 years old she often talked of another life where she was a mother of 7 children. She would place her dolls against the wall from the tallest to the smallest and explain to my husband and I that 4 of them somehow fell sick to a fever and died. At first we were worried about the story line and then, we decided to let it run its course. KT wasn’t upset about the death of her babies; she just told a story; emotionally detached from it. KT couldn’t have imagined this tragedy. It just made sense that she remembered it. Eventually, KT said that she was OK with the death of her babies because they were reborn and like her they were fine now. Soon she was playing new games, some significant and some insignificant. With years of watching both my children moving in and out of ancestral memories I came to understand that they were growing up out of the past and into the NOW. They were resolving, integrating and developing into their own power. They were preparing themselves to carry the different realities of God/Goddess energy.
Change is difficult for most people and yet change is a crucial part of life. I always thought that if I prepared my children from birth to embody the God/Goddess energy it would be easier for them to move through the different facets of this energy. I thought it would be easier for them to be friends, to be lovers, to be mates, to be parents, to be teachers, to be medicine people and to be elders. Some people may think that it’s part of life to move through these different roles but according to the Sacred Circle tradition it’s not part of life; but part of the superhero within us.
In other words, if we want to be able to accept the changes that occur within us through the 60+ years we live on this Planet, we need to be ready. I’ve often asked myself the question are we more depressed, desperate, lonely and confused these days because of physiology or is it because we are less and less in tune with the fact that we are more than meets the eye?
“When I got pregnant,” I told JP this morning, “everything changed. My body changed, the way I felt, thought and perceived things changed. When I finally gave birth to my children, even more things changed…. It seemed like the road to becoming a parent was more about accepting change than anything else.” Ironically, it wasn’t about having a baby even though it was the goal at the time; it was about trusting myself, my spouse, and my children with the greatest mystery of all: Pro-Creation. Suddenly I was God/Goddess’ partner in the making of Life. Little did I know then that it implied walking the Red Road and seeing the world with a wider and sharper lens.
P.S. The image inspired me with gestation.