Skip to main content

'Til Death Do Us Part...

Most of you know that in the last year we’ve adopted two Beagles. After the death of our 14-year-old companion, Lucky who was also a Beagle, I was guided through a dream to go out and adopt two new members to our family. After the Great Gathering workshop in October of 2010, I promised to dedicate myself to this journey and give it at least six months of my undivided attention. This is the reason why you haven’t seen me at any workshop since last year. I will be at the Golden workshop though coming up this July.

I honestly believe that Lucky passed away to make room for Bella and Murfle. It’s certainly not the first time in my life that decease animals or humans have guided me towards others, towards change, towards profound learning and healing. It probably won’t be the last. Having the ability to lucidly speak with the dead has certainly made me unique. Seriously I believe that this dimension of my life has managed to impact all other dimensions of who I am. For example, I’m regularly told that I’m not a mom like every other mom. I’m not a wife or a friend or teacher like any other as well…

I believe without a shred of a doubt that “talking to Spirit” has given me a perspective that is unlike others and because of that I do tend to think and act somewhat differently than most. Where countless people go grocery shopping without any incident week after week I tend to always create some raucous. There’s always someone who’s lost a loved one and it’s amazing what can synchronically happen to get me to “do the work” (so to speak). So I try to be careful about crowds and move through the super market fairly quickly in order not to get caught up in everyone’s story.

Recently I was asked in an interview if “this ability” was also the source of some emotional suffering. I tend to believe that pretty much anything and everything can be the source of emotional suffering, if we let it bother us it can grow and grow until all that remains is hurt and pain. From where I stand today this ability has shaped me into who I am and has given me access to incredible adventures, beauty beyond compare and unexplainable abundance. It’s also touched my loved ones and given them access to beauty and abundance, learning and healing, and the kind of life that most people only fantasize about. It would be somewhat ridiculous to dwell on the suffering when there’s so much greatness.

On the other hand, I often meet people who haven’t reached beyond the pain yet and would like some help in getting there. Some people would do anything to get a diagnosis of mental illness rather than develop their emerging abilities. Others will stop themselves from sleeping or eating; or become agoraphobic because they don’t know how to functionally practice and be disciplined with this skill. This does not include all of the people who take drugs and alcohol to numb the ability and consider them selves basically “normal.” You can’t imagine how many addicts I meet who are just hiding from their 6th sense. Interestingly enough, what most people call “paranormal” I call “completely natural.”

For years when my children were in elementary school, the School Board would invite us to tour their schools and talk about First Nation traditions and culture; as well as do some drumming and storytelling. We found that many of the children who had behavioral problems were more sensitive to what we call the “paranormal.” At one event, a kindergarten boy started whimpering while we were drumming. The teacher tried to contain the situation by removing him from the circle. He fought against the young woman and it took two people to grab him and literally lift him off the ground to attempt to get him out of the room. I had to stop the drumming and politely ask the technicians to let the young boy stay.

I approached the boy and asked him: “Why are you crying so much?”

The boy wonderfully told a story about warriors gathered around a fire preparing for war. He described each man and told us he could hear their voices as they chanted. It was beautiful. The teacher was even impressed with the fact that he could tell a story. Until that particular moment he had never shared with anyone and this was literally the first time he talked about his feelings. I then, guided the boy through his vision and showed him that he didn’t need to be afraid. Two days later I received a letter from the boy’s mother. She thanked me for what I had done and for giving her and her son some new resources. We got in touch a few times in the years that followed until the boy reached high school. He no longer struggled with school and no longer had what some called “behavioral issues.” Obviously this young man was extremely sensitive.

Too many fear this “gift” literally believing that they were given a “curse.” Many years ago I met this elderly woman in her mid 80’s. She was a neighbor. She never left her house. Her husband took care of the shopping and she stayed at home to take care of her garden. She didn’t like people and it was disturbingly obvious. People often talked about her as someone who struggled with mental illness despite the fact they didn’t know anything about her. I often spent afternoons observing her from across the street. I would write in my journal for an hour every day while the kids napped. I would settle on the front porch and watch her care for her flowers. One day, she crossed the street and offered me a red rose.

She smiled and said: “You’re an angel of death aren’t you?”

Caught by surprise I accepted the rose amicably and ignored the statement.

“Thank you,” I said “the rose is beautiful.”
“You don’t like cut flowers,” she said “because they remind you too much of what you are and what that means.”

I remember staring at the ground trying to control the tears that had quickly overwhelmed me. It was true, I didn’t like “cut flowers.” I swallowed a few times and nodded because really there was nothing I could add…

“Are you a psychic?” I asked.

She laughed and sat down on the step of our porch.

“I’m not sick or crazy,” she stated, “and I’m not a psychic. I’m someone like you. Maybe a long time ago there were respectful names for people like us but now, there’s no longer any name for us. Maybe one day.”

We talked for a while about her family: Her husband, her grown kids, grand kids and great-grand-kids. She even sat and listened about my family life. We had a wonderful time. At the end, I could tell she was tired. I wondered about how much she had picked up off of me; but I didn’t want to know. I helped her cross the street and climb the stairs that lead to her home. She hugged me like an old friend and strangely enough we never talked again.

A year later, the Ice Storm hit Quebec. She didn’t want to leave her home despite the fact that there was no electricity for 12 days. Her husband and children took care of her as she battled with pneumonia. She finally passed away on the day that the Army was going to force her to evacuate her home. I was part of the whole process because I was a volunteer who helped people get to shelters. I hoped to convince her to go to the hospital.

On that day she passed, I told her: “You have to leave just for a little while. You won’t loose your house. The electricity will eventually return.”
She squeezed my hand and said: “We both know it’s my time to leave and I won’t ever return.” Her husband sat by her side just watching. I wondered what he thought of her and me? At the time, I often imagined the worst out of people.
She stared at me for a moment and asked that I help her stick around in Spirit until Spring, so she could help her husband get through caring for the garden. I had no idea what her request meant or how to make it happen and I humbly told her so. She winked at me and whispered: “I’ll teach you.” And she did…
When Spring came her husband planted the flowers beautifully and when he saw me watching from my porch across the street, he walked back into his house and returned with a small pot of African violets.
“For you,” he said, “for watching over her and giving her what no “normal” person could ever do.”

I hugged the man with all my strength and felt her through me. I cried non-stop for two days until she said goodbye in a dream. It’s incredible how much my education came from the most unexpected people, at the most unexpected time, and through the most bizarre circumstances. A skeptic at heart I always needed the isolated witness who brought it all together for me making it real and making it important.

Sacred Circle tradition calls me a “keeper of the dead”. Like with the word SHAMAN I let people call me whatever they need to call me when they realize what I am or what I do. PT said it well when she stated: “There was no name for us any longer in this modern society.” I always found that sad somehow. In some instances people know years even decades before their death that I will be instrumental in their passing. I’ve always found those experiences to be the most dramatic and most mind-boggling. It’s crazy how the Universe manages to get people to cross path at the most crucial moment. I always seem to be there when I’m needed and sometimes at the last possible instant. It’s super-natural. No matter how, no matter when, and no matter who – the people I’m called to help at death always know what I’m meant to do and why. Again, confirmation and synchronicity at its best.

Believe it or not this is not what I planned to talk about tonight as I sat down to write this blog entry. I wanted to talk about “soul retrieval” and how it became an important part of my journey with Murfle our second adopted Beagle. I guess, it will be a topic for tomorrow. Tonight’s entry kind of flew literally out of my hands. I’m assuming this one is meant for someone out there….

I hope it helps.
And please if it does, don’t be shy to write me a little comment.
I like to know who’s out there reading me.

Tahau!

Comments

Emily said…
I really enjoyed this entry. Works fail me a little right now, but I want you to know i felt called into this story. Thank you.

Love

Emily
Emily said…
'words' lol (see!)
ari said…
reading this has brought tears. i can't really put it into words right now either, but thankyou...
Michelle said…
I think society does shun those who have a gift and because its different its judged....I hope more of those out there who sense somthing seek out and find others who understand and will help them! This is a beautiful story of trusting and having faith in the universe. What a wonderful way to start my day! Wolikon.
Rose said…
I too had tears in my eyes by the end,,, thank you for sharing all you do
Lisa F. Tardiff said…
What do you find touching in this blog entry?
Thank you everyone for the feedback.

LISA
Rose said…
That's a really hard question to answer. There is such beauty and light but sadness to in the story of the boy at school and you and your neighbour, and when you get to tell the story of your dogs fully, I am sure it will be there to. Such bitter sweet beauty. Lovely synchronistic healing with everything as it should be, but also regret that the healing was needed and that you have to move on from a beautiful moment.

I have always found it far too easy to imagine what others feel. There are so many emotions in these memories, they burst to the brim with them.
Anonymous said…
the loving acceptance touched me the most.
Lili said…
I'm here too and i'm reading. I love your words and the stories you share. I was touched as the womans touch touched you and her husband together.
I am reminded of the time my friend, who had passed a few months previous came to me in a dream, that was the first time i knew i had seen someone in spirit, she was shining and very real. She was never really a friend in this reality, she had treated me harshly and i had always accepted that. When she came to me she shared an apology. I sat and listened to her and never saw her again in any dream. I know there are some who may think there is another explanation using psychology but i know now through experience my dream was not like any other.
I know i have the role Keeper of the Dead and i have seen my mother in law in spirit too. Although i lived in Dubai and she lived in Wales i saw the pain she was in before she passed. I gave touch to her in the dreaming and i saw her begin her journey to the next stage. She gave a beautiful gift in the fact that i saw her at various stages throughout her process of death and life, Well thats my slant on it. It renewed me and allowed my belief system to grow a tremendous amount. I know i have connected with others, some i feel, some i have heard and some i have dreamed with when i sleep. Each time i feel blessed to be a part of it. I nevermeant to write so much but this is what your words brought up for me.
I have to allow the experiences again. Your stories remind me and touch me. Thank you.

LOVE
Leanne
Lisa F. Tardiff said…
Thank you for your answers.
I smiled at your comments because they made me realize that it's the same sentiments or emotions that I recognize in the stories of others and that make me cry.
Common ground at its best.

LISA
Ally said…
I love you and I love what you do. I come here often and read your words...so often I can't find my own to express what I feel each time I read one of your entries. Thank you for all of them.
Lisa F. Tardiff said…
Without all of you reading -- I wouldn't be here writing. So I send the appreciation back to you.
What comes around goes around........

LISA
Cougar-D said…
Lisa, it feels like you have gifted us with your story. It is so beautiful and I feel so lucky to be able to hear it. Reminds me of how we lack the elder's stories.

Thank you
Anonymous said…
Just read this today. Thanks for writing it. I can relate. Last night I was talking with a new friend. A woman my husband knows from childhood. She is very sensitive. Lately, she has had more and more dead coming to her to pass on messages for them and had asked me about it. I'm the only one she knows that has experienced that too. She has been very lonely and growing up she had been taught that she was evil. I can imagine what your neighbour felt. I can understand why she separated herself from society. How great for both of you that you were brought together. To be able to connect with just one other person who understands is so important.
Lisa F. Tardiff said…
Anonymous,

Send the lady here.....
I think it's so important to gather together.
The more we can confirm to each other that all of this is real -- the more we can heal and learn.
She doesn't have to be alone.

Love
LISA
Anonymous said…
I loved this entry, beautiful sharing Lisa! What touched me most about it besides the anticipation of your soul retrieval sharing coming up, was the story of the neighbor. You teach so well with these entries and offer great aniticpation of what is next to come. I do not usually see the spirits anymore, maybe it's nolonger as important as it used to be. But I think it's very cool to be able to do those things for others. One thing you taught me, has amazed me.

Watching you teach this way showed me my moon of interaction. I used to be very shy,painfully so. And wondered why I met so few people interested in the same things I am. Then it hit me, I used to avoid people terribly. Hmmm, no wonder I rarely found kindred spirits. I hope the changes in me now branch out and show themselves when around others and I hope to get lots of practice meeting new people these days. Loves, SW-Deb
Anonymous said…
LOL, Did I say moon of interaction, rofl...I meant the moon of inter-...wow, I have tried to not read the moons to keep it quiet here so am way out of practice...so, I think it's moon 9. Maybe inter-connections but it does not sound true to me. Anyway, I know you will see it which is what is important at the moment until things get quieter here permanently. Loves, Deb
Anonymous said…
Moon of inter-relations! Lol. Loves, Deb

Popular posts from this blog

Drums and Rattles.

Lately I’ve received a few e-mails and letters from people asking questions about drums and rattles. I don’t think I’ve written a blog on this topic yet. JB wrote in his e-mail: “I often read that Drums are connected to Shamanism and often the tool of choice for Shamans. How do Shamans use drums differently than anyone else who’s in Shamanism?” I thought it was a great question. For starters, one of the reasons why a drum is an interesting tool in Shamanism is because it can mimic a heartbeat and induce a state of trance. A rapid heartbeat can trigger nervousness, excitement and even aggression. A very slow heartbeat can help in relaxation, sleep and dreaming. Every rhythm can inspire an emotion and can bring about the memory of a past experience or a parallel reality. In Shamanic circles the drum can be instrumental in healing, teaching, ceremony or ritual, expansion of consciousness as well as dreaming and journeying. Almost a decade ago I participated in a Mohawk namin

Authentic Shamanism

I brought up the topic of “authentic Shamanism” at one of my classes / circles this week. I’ve noticed especially in the last three to four years that when people speak to me about Shamanism, they often make a distinction between what they are doing and what “is out there.”  These days if you are not into Ayahuasca you are not authentically into Shamanism.  So what is “Shamanism” if it changes its appearance every decade?  Is it about altered states of consciousness through hallucinogens? Is it about ceremonies and rituals; or about soul retrieval, dreaming and healing?  Since Shamanism isn’t a Religion and doesn’t have set doctrines, then how can you anyone be clear on what makes it “authentic?” When I brought up the question this week, I received a few interesting comments.   Many of the individuals in our circles have struggled with addictions and it’s because of the Medicine Wheel teachings that their lives are full and healthy again.   The idea of defining Shamanism as a j

The Seven Clans

Wow! I can’t believe that in the last three years, I haven’t written a single blog on the topic of “the seven clans” of the Medicine Wheel. For the last two months our Montreal circle has been exploring the subject. I think it’s the first time in fifteen years that I ask my students to go out into the World and experience the clans first hand. “Look at people and see which clan they can belong to; or look at behaviors and attitudes and try to connect them to one of the Clans.” We often speak of the clans as the seven faces of Creator. In Christianity or Judaism God can be angry, impatient, judgmental and destructive; but he can also be merciful, compassionate, forgiving and loving. The Medicine Wheel may not personalize Creator in the same way many Religions do, yet in many ways it accomplishes the same end result where we can see ourselves as children of divinity. Often in non-traditional circles the seven clans are understood as archetypes. Each clan holds particular att