During the weekend of May 11th, we celebrated Mother’s Day. In our home there are two perspectives to this celebration; which I feel is the reason why we can actually enjoy the day. I personally think it’s a celebration tainted with romanticism and manipulated by capitalism. The sentiment may be “nice”; but like many other Western celebrations it brings to the surface all kinds of issues nobody is really interested to work through. When you focus on the “nice” you often give permission to people to ignore “the shadow / the wrong.” My children sincerely always treat me as if Mother’s Day is every day; but on the actual celebratory date they tend to reason out the meaning behind it all more so then usual and because of it – we always have a nice time.
Lately, I’ve been exploring the Moons. There are 13 Moons on the Medicine Wheel and they refer to a cycle of development, transition and growth. Basically the Moons help us explore our inner children; inner adolescents; inner adults; and eventually inner elders. Thirteen for each. Each phase offers different challenges; different perspectives; and different experiences / wisdom. If you move through the Moons without any kind of awareness; without the ability to parent them; and /or any attempt to integrate them you end up carrying burdens left behind by missing pieces of the soul or what we call “broken moons.”
My husband and I married young. ET was 22 years old when he said: “I do” and I was 23. By 25 years old we had two children. Both our kids are now young adults. CT is 23 and KT is 22. Recently they’ve both been asking lots of questions about our state of mind 23 years ago.
How could we have gotten married so young and how did we make it work?
Did we know we were going to be good parents?
Did we ever struggle with our decisions?
Did we ever struggle with our decisions?
Did we ever talk about divorce?
And did we go through the same kind of challenges young people have to deal with whether financial, emotional, psychological and even relating to maturity?
This year, my husband and I are celebrating our 25th anniversary and I have to admit we often discuss how incredibly lucky we are to still be together and to still be happily married. We look at the different paths we could have taken and how they would have led us elsewhere. We understand that despite the challenges, the choices we made and each of our personalities what seemed to guide us was the way we uniquely reasoned each experience and always transformed them into opportunities. ET was a pessimist from the moment I met him and I was an incurable optimist. We always met each other half way and ironically along the years, he became more of an optimist and I more of a pessimist. We allowed ourselves space to change: To learn, to heal and to grow… For us it was never about who was right and who was wrong. It was never about who would win! It was always about doing it together.
Just this past weekend we were shopping for a boat when we met this young woman not older then 26 years old who was telling us that she was selling her boat because of a divorce. She seemed upset and you could see just by watching the way she spoke and behaved that she had lost a part of herself through this separation. Her parents were there as well and for half an hour my husband and me listened to a tall tale of deceit and disappointment; which unfortunately left one more child without a solid family.
The boat was nice; but what were we accepting to carry through this exchange? In the last two decades especially, both ET and I have learnt that everything comes at a cost above and beyond money. Energy is a topic people often talk about; but it’s often superficial and as a means to divulge eccentricity. In our house it’s an anchored topic and ignoring it often gets us in trouble. I personally like the way we take energy seriously and allow our perception of it to lead the way. Many of our decisions are made after acknowledging the presence of energy; describing its form and intent; and then, seeing whether or not we are prepared for what it will manifest.
I often wonder why some of us are capable of detachment where so many people are not. Part of teaching the Medicine Wheel, Shamanism and Indigenous Dreaming means accepting to have initiates / students. While my children were growing up I often toured the elementary schools, high schools, Cegeps and Universities in our region. Eventually, I was called in to speak in schools in the Maritimes, other Provinces and even out of country. One thing I noticed in most students across the Planet was their readiness to criticize their teachers. Students always had high expectations when it came to their education but most of all they sought out the most fantastic and often heroic characteristics in their mentors.
The process of learning for both students and teachers may be similar in some ways and yet completely different in others. It often takes acknowledging the fact that everyone is journeying and then, showing each spoke they stand on --- on the Wheel for everyone to start understanding that the only expectations we should truly have should be about ourselves and our story.
On the other hand what is so wrong about wanting heroes in our lives…
When I explore the Moons on the Medicine Wheel I see how they are truly meant to develop heroes. Unfortunately, it is not a perspective most of us were taught to adopt; to understand profoundly; to integrate in our lives; and eventually teach others. I imagine a world where attitudes, behaviours and perspectives were influenced by the Sacred Circle tradition and I see “utopia.”
When people ask me: “Why did we destroy Indigenous cultures and wisdom?”
I often reply: “Because it was the path we walked on from the start and weren’t mature or wise enough to step off of… Our teachers told us to change; but we disregarded our teachers because we needed the experience. We basically sang a song and this song – played this story.”
I was telling my husband this weekend how blessed we’ve been to be touched and educated in the ways of the ancestors. Both our children were raised according to the Wheel. They may complain every now and again that they don’t fit in this Western world; but 85% of the time they praise their story and their upbringing. When I see so many people struggle with self esteem, self-confidence, self worth, self love and self acceptance – I shrug off their complaints to lack of maturity and naturally so… Already at 22 and 23 years old they are decades ahead of their parents even though they may not see it or feel it yet. The awareness will come when they reach their late adult phase and their elder phase.
MR, an elder and teacher of the Wheel in Alberta and dear friend of mine recently said to me that “she was feeling called to teaching more about the Moons.”
No doubt I feel this call as well. Synchronically it seems that everything around me whispers the movement of the Moons and demands for balance. Perhaps we are reaching a peak of sufferance. Will we continue to climb into despair or will we attempt to take another path?
Since MOONS are a huge topic for me lately – I’d like to write a few blogs on them. If you have any questions about the Moons or your journey with them – please write to me at firstname.lastname@example.org or leave your feedback / questions in the comment section of this blog. Thank you. I’d like to be able to get back to my 3 to 4 blog entries a month as I used to … I appreciate everyone’s feedback and especially your blog suggestions. Keep them coming. Thank you.
NEXT BLOG on the MOON OF REASON (10th Moon on the Wheel)