Christmas is in 12 days.
When I was a child I loved the idea of the
Advent calendar. I was brought up
Catholic and was educated by nuns at the convent. In Latin the word “advent” means
“coming”. It explicitly speaks of anticipation and
merriment two incredibly important characteristics in the experience of
celebration. For example, through time “we”
told the story of Saint Nick and his reindeer to build up a sense of mystery
and expectancy in children. The same way
children of the antiquity expected the coming of Christ. The notion of having to prove ourselves good
to a Father figure who only wants to be generous and make us happy, invited children to prepare for his
coming. Where the hope and keenness during
Advent was more spiritual in the past, it became more secular and focused on
consumerism in modern days. One way or
another the month of December is devoted to the study and journey of magic and
anticipation.
Advent calendars were big at the convent. They were more like wooden boxes with 30
drawers hidden behind little doors.
Within each drawer we’d find a small gift not unlike the little toys
given to children during the 8 days of Hanukah.
Actually Advent calendars first appeared in Germany during the 1800’s
and were based on the Hebrew Bible – hence it’s not strange to find a weaving
between Hebrew and Christian views within this tradition. If we were 24 pupils in a class we’d get the
pleasure of opening one door and receiving one gift, which was usually the
case. What I remember most about the
Advent calendar was how great it felt to anticipate. As soon as my children
were old enough I introduced the tradition to them.
Just last week as we explored Lintd’s
chocolate boutique here in Montreal – my daughter stopped in front of the Advent
calendar. She mentioned how wonderful it
was for both her and her brother to anticipate the little chocolate at the end
of every day.
“It always led to Christmas,” she said with
a smile, “and it was always perfect.”
When my husband and I decided to have
children we made a conscious decision to celebrate the Solstice more so than
Christmas.. We were both committed to a
shamanic path and we both agreed that it was important to bring back “medicine
/ power” to the word “celebrate.” We
didn’t want any celebration in our life to be dictated by national economy or
social indoctrination. We also didn’t
want our gatherings to be about drinking and about passive aggressive jokes and
teasing. We both craved to be with
people we enjoyed and with people who enjoyed us.
For years while we transitioned between the
old ways of celebrating and our not-so-defined-utopic-new ways we didn’t
celebrate much of anything at all.
Obviously not too many of our friends and family members were on board
when it came to a drastic life change. Where
we tried to express it as a personal, simple shift in attitude many of the
people around us took it as insults and criticism. After all we were pointing to specific
behaviours and we were saying these behaviours were detrimental to us, and our
children. It took over a decade before
we realized that our commitment to a humble self-discovery had turned into a
harsh and offensive attack on people’s lifestyles. Unfortunately we had to literally let go of
the past and the people in it – to be able to be us.
So much of the work G and I do focuses on
relationships and how we can handle transitions and transformation without
having to blow up our lives quite literally.
With 20 years of experience we still get impressed with how people perceive
change as a result of a dramatic and emotional devastation. So many people devote to self-sabotage and
self-destruction in hope to produce “change” in their lives. Years and years of commitment to the “big bang
theory” when instead we could be teaching them the step-by-step process; which
leads quite naturally to change.
No doubt there’s a need for surrender and
death in the process of change; but does it need to be a forced demolition and
complete annihilation of everything and everyone around you? No! At
least not from “my” perspective. I say
this because even after giving this short lecture to people most will chose to
do it their way no matter how painful it may be…
Looking back I realize that it’s never easy
to bring forth change because it means acknowledging a need for it. Of course “acknowledgement” implies looking
at what empowers our life and what doesn’t…
Strangely enough it was during those
somewhat depressive years that I enjoyed
Christmas, New Year, Easter etc… the most.
It seemed that our quest to understand the meaning behind these festivities
and our place in them is what finally determined the value of celebrating for
us. I remember spending one Christmas passing out sleeping bags to the
homeless. Honestly, it completely
changed our perspective on life; poverty and homelessness. Another Christmas we
opened the doors to anyone who didn’t have family to celebrate with. Again, we were surprised at how much fun we
could have with people who were so diversified in culture, age and lifestyle.
No matter how many strange ideas we came up with in those early years – we
enjoyed every single outcome.
While all of this was happening my babies
grew into toddlers, then into children. We
didn’t realize it then; but they were being impacted by our experiences and
their views on “celebration” were being shaped. Today, they are both young adults and I love
having them around during the holidays because they are the ones now who bring
forth the new crazy ideas … They are
creating the traditions of tomorrow and they are redefining the word
“celebration;” bringing small transitions and change into our World just as it
should naturally be.
I now understand that change doesn’t hurt when
it’s about the natural occurrence of growth, trust and love (empowerment). It
only hurts when we have to look at the unresolved that was overlooked or
ignored for so long and even assimilated between the threads of “medicine” that
we call our “personal story.”
Celebration has been defined as adventure,
mystery, phenomenon and togetherness in our home. It’s become something we clearly anticipate
and look forward to. The idea of Advent
in our home was replaced by “initiation”
where we find the Winter Solstice on the Wheel (where the wind of the initiator
resides NW). It’s still about “preparing
for what is coming.” Rather then waiting
for the Father or St-Nick we work all year through with the help of “wishes” to
find “the Father / Mother within” – that parent that can generously give to us
what is ours to receive.
The true meaning of EMPOWERMENT.
Comments
In letting go of the consumer part of Christmas, I feel a lot happier and lighter. It took a few years to change my attitudes towards it. I went from loving the Spirit of the Christ love, the music and coming together with loved ones... to feeling depressed and lonely after my parents died. Christmas became something to avoid. Then the stress of shopping and feeling compelled to have to buy gifts became a burden and I stopped that too. Letting go of the consumerism indoctrination was a huge relief.
Advent is not something I thought about much. Celebrating Winter Solstice has become much more important, with the making of wishes for the year to come. It has much more significance for me.
I am more attuned to the season and looking forward to the return of longer days. Meanwhile I give thanks for my warm home, community, food, music, health and more..