Did anyone see HOUSE (American tv show) a few weeks ago? It was about a young woman who has a blog and shares every thought, every detail of her life moment by moment with a few thousand people. After seeing this episode of House I wondered if this is what it means to have a blog? Are the most popular blogs about people who open up every dimension of their life? When you read a blog what do you expect? This particular House episode in mid-March, 2010 – certainly got me thinking and brought up a lot of questions as well as helped me dig deeper on what I’m doing here…
I’ve never been much of an extrovert although people who know me today are often surprised at this comment. After all, I lecture in front of thousands of people these days without flinching. The fact of the matter is you don’t talk to the dead, emerge as a traditional dreamer, and walk a shamanic path without being afraid of people’s judgments and reactions especially when you’re a child or a teenager. First Nation people were persecuted for over 300 years because of their religious beliefs. No matter how open our Western society believes it is towards different cultures and religions – most people today are still bias and still harbour some strong opinions when it comes to Shamanism. My daughter was saying last week: “How she feels that most people are still superstitious and caught up in primitive, cave man perspectives when it comes to Shamanism.” She was quite upset towards some of the reactions she’s been getting to the way she understands life, and her path and purpose.
I was talking to imaginary friends and seeing ghosts when I was a toddler. I remember dreams that date back to a few months old. Lets put it this way I was a very peculiar child. I know that in many ways it embarrassed my parents and eventually, I learnt not to talk about it to friends, or teachers because they didn’t understand and were quick to judgments and labels. I was boxed into my own little inner world for most of my life. And until I reached my mid-twenties a lot about ME was a deep-kept-secret. Ironically when I talk to young people who struggle with their homosexuality I often feel like I understand their experience as if I lived something similar.
I was educated at a Catholic convent from 6 to 18 years old. I’ve often been asked by reporters who have followed my story and given it some exposure if I struggled with shame, guilt or even the notion of hypocrisy all through my life because I was in a Catholic context living a shamanic life?
The answer to that has always been: “NO. No shame, no guilt and no sense of hypocrisy.” To be honest I always felt like my Catholic background was very supportive of my Shamanic emergence. There was quite a few nuns who knew that I could see ghosts and had a strong 6th sense. I was quite lucky to have devout, religions individuals around me because they helped me follow my path and eventually reach my life’s vocation. From early on, religion and spirituality was crucial to my life experience.
Today, there are shows on television that demonstrate how difficult it is for young people to deal with hypersensitive abilities. There are experts who guide, lead and share their experience in order to help the next generation of clairvoyants, mediums, dreamers, etc… I was lucky enough to cross the path of elders who recognized me as a traditional dreamer and shared their experience with me. To be honest, without the help or connection to others like us – it is difficult to survive or to strive. I tell my children that anyone who promotes hate and disempowerment should not be tolerated in our lives. It’s important to become strong in our abilities, our values and our belief system. Life asks of us to grow, to trust and to love even in the face of adversity.
Would I change anything in my life? NO. There’s no doubt that every little detail was mathematically thought out. I’m the outcome of that formula. I certainly would love to be able to share more of my life experience, my memories, my daily thoughts and emotions but I think it would mean to throw caution to the wind…
I’m working on it.